Toxic Masculinity in Teenage Boys: 5 Powerful Strategies to Help

Hello and welcome. If you’ve found this blog post, chances are you’re worried about a teenage boy you care about—maybe your son, a student you teach, someone in your sports team or youth group. You might have noticed anger, withdrawal, or an unhealthy obsession with certain corners of the internet. Perhaps you’ve seen signs of toxic masculinity emerging and you’re feeling unsure how to respond.

Take a breath. You’re not alone—and there are ways to help.

In this post, I’m going to share five effective, compassionate strategies for dealing with toxic masculinity in teenage boys. These are based on my own clinical experience, recent research, and powerful stories from the media, including the Netflix documentary series Adolescence, which has sparked a national conversation on boys, mental health, and masculinity.

Why Are Teenage Boys Struggling Right Now?

The pressures on boys today are immense. They’re growing up in a digital world saturated with conflicting messages about what it means to “be a man.” According to a recent report by the Centre for Social Justice, boys in the UK are falling behind in education, mental health, employment, and are more likely to be involved in crime or take their own lives.

Social media and online influencers—some as extreme as Andrew Tate—often fill this gap, presenting distorted ideas of masculinity: dominance, emotional repression, and financial control as measures of worth. Vulnerable boys, especially those struggling with low self-esteem or feeling disconnected at home or school, can be drawn to this messaging.

As the UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer recently stated, "We may have a problem with boys and young men that we need to address." And I couldn’t agree more.

Toxic Masculinity: What Does It Really Mean?

Toxic masculinity isn’t about saying masculinity is bad. It’s about challenging harmful norms—like the belief that “real men” must be aggressive, emotionally silent, or always in control. These messages prevent boys from expressing vulnerability, processing their emotions, or asking for help—and can lead to isolation, poor mental health, and violence.

5 Strategies to Support Boys in a Healthier Masculinity

Here’s how you can start helping a teenage boy in your life today:

1. Create a Safe, Non-Judgmental Environment

Be curious, not critical. Make it clear that all emotions are valid, and that they can talk to you without fear of being shamed or shut down.

2. Use Real Role Models

Introduce boys to healthy examples of masculinity. Take Jamie Laing, for example—TV personality and Radio 1 presenter—who recently ran 5 ultra-marathons for Comic Relief. As he crossed the finish line in tears, he shared on Instagram:

“It’s OK to be vulnerable, anxious, sad, upset... Vulnerability is cool.”

Show boys that strength and emotion can coexist.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Encourage reflection with questions like, “What do you think makes someone strong?” or “What do you make of the messages you see online about being a man?” Keep these conversations open and ongoing.

4. Normalize Emotional Expression

Teach them that expressing feelings isn’t weakness—it’s a sign of strength. Explain the difference between having feelings and acting on them. Anger is valid, but aggression is a choice.

5. Offer Practical Coping Strategies

Help them build a mental health toolkit—things like journaling, talking to trusted people, exercise, or breathing techniques. Remind them that different situations call for different strategies.

Let’s Talk About Social Media…

While it may be tempting to ban phones and unplug Wi-Fi, the reality is that social media is woven into teen life. Rather than fight it, we need to teach boys how to navigate it safely.

4 Bonus Tips for Managing Online Influences:

6. Foster Honest ConversationsCreate a space where teens can talk openly about what they see and experience online.

7. Educate About Online SafetyTeach privacy, strong passwords, and the risks of oversharing.

8. Encourage Critical ThinkingHelp them question the truth of what they see online and recognise manipulation.

9. Model Healthy Tech UseBe a positive example—show respect, set boundaries, and prioritise real-world connection.

Final Thoughts: What Makes a Strong Man Today?

If we want boys to grow into confident, caring men, we need to redefine masculinity in a way that welcomes vulnerability, encourages empathy, and values emotional intelligence alongside resilience and ambition.

Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts:What do you think makes a strong and healthy man today?Share your insights in the comments below.

And if you found this post helpful, consider subscribing to my YouTube channel for more mental health content, posted every couple of weeks.

Let’s keep the conversation going. Our boys are listening.